Last May 2009, my mother was very ill, totally bed-ridden and it was so hard for me to handle because I have never seen her before 2011 for about 9 years. I would considered it was a spiritual battle in between me and my mother because she didn’t believe it was a medical issue (kidney problem) but rather believed in superstitious belief (witchcraft thing). A week went to months, I was only praying that God would let Nanay (mother) go to the hospital. But the more I was praying for her healing the further Nanay hardened her heart to go to the hospital, resentment was so strong and sometimes she resisted to talk to me anymore.
Then, one night I fervently praying to God kneeling down, crying to Him for Nanay’s healing I still wanted to glimpse her again and I felt so afraid the chance of seeing her again will not happen anymore. But praise God, I heard His still small voice commanding me to surrender everything to Jesus and I prayed exactly, “Lord if it is Your will that You will take Nanay, and if she’s ready spiritually then Thy will be done. I will accept it even though it’s so painful for me because I still want to see her after 9 years or so. But Lord if Nanay is not ready yet spiritually and not Your will to take her yet Thy will be done also. You know Nanay’s heart. I fully accept and surrender my pain of not seeing her. I’m done..I don’t want to hold my fears anymore..You are God who gives and takes away….”
Nevertheless, it didn’t go well and one night in our prayer meeting I was crying so badly with the same reason of Nanay’s situation. Then, my two prayer meeting sister and brother saw me and they brought me to the sunday school room (closed door) and they prayed for me and Nanay so powerfully and fervently. I always remember they prayed that God would sent an angel to convince Nanay to go to the hospital.
Amazingly, the next day my sister sent me a message to call her for an emergency I was so scared, and before I laid my ears to the phone, I went to the bathroom and prayed! Then, I was speechless when my sister said they were waiting for the ambulance to bring Nanay to the hospital. God is always working in ways we cannot see! Nanay was convinced not by her children but the wife of my cousin. God is using anyone to unleash His power and miracle! I’d learned that surrendering to God is giving and entrusting everything to Him without any single hesitations of holding back our fears! Through this experienced, I wrote “At the Valley” where it says that Jesus gives me life at the valley!
And this year 2011, God answered my prayer to see Nanay and be with her during my vacation with full of blessings we had a family reunion!
Year 2014, the Lord answered my petition/question and I know it is His will to end Nanay’s life this time. She survived many times in the ICU but not this time, not in the ICU. Also, this year was the most arduous time in my journey; fighting my marriage which was failing and getting better off from grieving of losing a mother. Indeed, I would have drown without the Grace of Jesus Christ that is greater than my weaknesses.
“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;” – Ecclesiastes 3:1-2, KJV
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